Today I’m linking up with Katie from heykatie.co and other bloggers who’ve struggled through infertility and we’re talking all about our Triumphs with infertility.
This one is hard. I can easily point and say my biggest triumph with infertility is having Caroline. That’s the biggest win I can think of but when you’re suffering through infertility the thought of actually holding your own child is a far distant reality yet the longing of your heart and soul to hold your own child is the closet thing to your very heart.
So today, instead of writing about having sweet Caroline I’m going to write about two times I felt triumphant over my infertility. These two moments are very different and have a lot of grace-filled in them. So here we go!
The first moment that I felt triumphant over my infertility was when I sat down with our Creighton Practioner and she told me I had Endometriosis, Cysts, Fibroids, and PCOS. As I’ve said many times, I was shocked! I mean really shocked! I couldn’t believe she could see all this just from my charts. If you’re not familiar with the Creighton Fertility Care System, a chart tracks a woman’s cycle. This was absolutely amazing to me that she told me all of this from just seeing my charts. I felt like we had answers, I felt like we were given an open door to seek greater help.
I consider that moment in my life to be one of the hardest but greatest. I was filled with so much emotion as John and I sat in her office. I immediately began to cry when she gave us this information. I cried tears of fear, tears of joy, tears of acceptance, tears of thanksgiving, and tears of sadness. I knew we had answers but I was so scared that they wouldn’t be solved and I remember at that moment she asked why I was crying and I explained. Her reply was perfect and better than I could expect. She told me there was no need to cry for we have found answers and now you can be healed. She told me my chances of holding my own child very soon were sooner than I thought. John and I were stunned.
I remember as John drove us home I felt like this was the beginning, this was the beginning of us finding our sweet children. Most pregnancies begin and end within 9 months but I felt like this was the beginning of ours. We were ready and we were ready to begin our search.
The next triumph I’d like to share with you was when I woke up from my surgery. I’ll never forget waking up the second time after surgery(the first time I woke and I was in excruciating pain so they put me back to sleep) and asking for my Doctor. I desperately wanted to know what he found and if he was able to get it all because before surgery there is no way to tell I had all these things except through my charts. And lo and behold I had it all! 13 things were removed and my ovaries both had wedge resections performed. After my surgery, the hope we had was so great, I just knew with every bone in my body that we would be meeting our first child within the year. That is why I always say February 6, 2017 was a day that changed my life forever.
Triumph’s in infertility are difficult. If you know someone suffering through infertility please take time to just listen to them, never ever tell them they don’t understand because they’re not a parent yet, and please give them my info, I’d love to speak with them and help them along their journey.
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I love you! You’re so strong in your faith and trust in God, it’s something I admire so much about you! Thanks for sharing this, Hollz. <3
Thanks so much Emily! Love you!